Confessions of a Recovering Cynic: Finding Joy in the Land of Lizard People

Photo by Tom Radetzki on Unsplash

For decades, I’ve walked this earth draped in cynicism, a human embodiment of the side-eye emoji.

Give me a whiff of inauthenticity and I’d rip it apart with the precision of a surgeon and the glee of a raccoon in a dumpster.

But recently, ladies & gentlemen, I’ve discovered a truth so profound, so utterly unexpected, that it’s shaken me to my core: conspiracy theories are hilarious.

Yes, you read that correctly.

The internet’s rabbit hole of shadowy cabals and government cover-ups, a place I once avoided like a public restroom stall with a broken lock, has become my personal comedy club.

It began, as these things often do, with a casual foray into the abyss.

A click here, a scroll there, and suddenly I was waist-deep in YouTube comments sections, 4chan and Subreddits, where the laws of physics and logic go to die.

I learned about chemtrails, those wispy airplane exhaust trails that are clearly, obviously, chemical agents meant to control our minds (or maybe just make us crave generic-brand soda, the jury’s still out on that one).

I marveled at the intricate theories surrounding the moon landing, an event that apparently took place not on…